text; "I thought this was supposed to be a REWARD"

[peridork]

Can someone please explain to me why the captains are so obsessed with assigning certain maintenance duties for certain parts of the ship to those of us who don't even use them?

I've long since been informed of what goes on in a bathroom, and as such I refuse to go anywhere near one!

[ Peridot just received her rank reward, and she's really not amused by what the note that came along with it is implying. ]

Comments

text

[stompadour]

[Jasper's first thought is 'haha man yeah a room for submerging yourself in water, awful' – but, no, that's just her. Hmm. A mystery.]

Wait... What's your issue with humans washing themselves?

[peridork]

[ Oh. Oh Jasper. No. Peridot doesn't want to have to explain this to you. ]

Has anyone explained to you what the function of a "toilet" is, yet?

[stompadour]

A what?

[peridork]

[ Sigh. ]

I refuse to explain. Go grab a dictionary from the library and look it up.

[stompadour]

[A prolonged pause as Jasper stomps off to investigate this.]

[Then, eventually:]

What. That's disgusting. Why in the stars would they assign this to you instead of someone who's accustomed to dealing with this revolting thing?

[peridork]

BECAUSE THEY'RE INSANE.

[peridork]

No. Sorry.

[peridork]

To clarify: I'm not entirely certain that I've been assigned so much as it's been heavily suggested that I take the responsibility on myself.

[stompadour]

That shouldn't be your job. You're a Peridot. You should refuse.

[peridork]

I am refusing, it's just the sentiment of the whole thing that's bothering me. Last month I got weapons, this month I get cleaning supplies? Inexcusable!

[ Peridot you didn't get a weapon you got a set of cutlery. ]

[stompadour]

Maybe it's supposed to be some kind of joke.

[peridork]

What.

[stompadour]

Maybe this is what they think is funny.

[peridork]

Why would they make a joke about something this important?

[ She is so offended by the very idea. ]

[stompadour]

Humans aren't very intelligent, Peridot, you must have noticed that by now.

[peridork]

Some of them aren't quite so bad, but yes. I've noticed.

[ Not ALL humans. ]

[stompadour]

I've yet to meet any that've impressed me.

[peridork]

Really? Not even the one that threw you and made you have to regenerate?

[stompadour]

[WOW, PERIDOT.]

It doesn't take intellect to throw someone.

[peridork]

Oh.

I didn't realize we were still limiting the parameters to intellect, since that's not really a trait I strongly associate you with.

It's worth noting, though, that Banner is surprisingly intelligent. You know... for a human.

talk to text

[intherigging]

To build morale everyone has to work together on a ship this size think of it as allowing you to grow as a person.

[stompadour]

[WOW, PERIDOT.]

Intelligence is exactly what we were talking about. Don't be obtuse.

Which one is that? The one you're roomed with?

text

[hellsbel]

[the words are individually legible but the effect... makes as much sense as everything else Bel's seen on this ship tbh.]

...Okay, I'll bite. What's so especially horrific about the bathrooms here? [the voice goes amused and ironic] Or are people just taking the opportunity to use them for purposes other than intended? Don't they have perfectly good beds in their quarters?

[where Bel comes from, the washrooms have specific stalls for that, with self-cleaning surfaces and all the supplies one (or more) might need. perfectly normal bodily functions if that's what you're into, right? galactics are so weird.]


[[OMG I'M SORRY XD;;;;;; can Bel and Peridot be sarcastic snarkfriends once this UM misconception is cleared up?? (and I can totally change the tag if it's uncomfortable just let me know)]]

[peridork]

Affirmative.

[peridork]

You know what would "build" my "morale"?

Getting assigned full time to jobs that actually match my qualifications and make use of my superior technological skills!

[fight4theusers]

[Hi, have another slightly confused non-human here.]

What would make them so terrible that we cannot assist with cleaning?

[intherigging]

But that's not how ships work everyone has to pitch in to do the jobs you don't want to do so not any one person gets stuck with them except for specialised jobs like cooking or navigations but even those can be rotated out with the crew or the midshipmen

[peridork]

Of course it's how ships work!

[ Gem ships, anyway. Which is what's important here, because that's what she is. ]

Every thing and everyone has a natural place in the world and I don't care what backwards species is in charge of this rust bucket, I am not going against my function! If they want a gem to do menial tasks like cleaning so badly, maybe they should fire up that stupid Ingress thing and get a Pearl on board here. They love to tidy things up.

Re: text

[peridork]

...Look, I don't understand what bedds have to do with this, but honestly, I don't care. So I'll answer your actual question: What it is that makes them so horrific is that you organic types eliminate waste in there, which is disgusting and I want nothing to do with any equipment involved in such a process.

[[DON'T WORRY YOU'RE FINE]]

[peridork]

Allow me to answer your question, with a question: Do you know what a 'toilet' is?

text

[hellsbel]

[it takes Bel a moment to work that out; there are no inorganic intelligences where they come from. even the computers don't really have personalities.]

...so where else are we supposed to eliminate it?

Not that I'm arguing that the job distribution on this rig isn't screwy, I can't help but notice you're not including yourself as one of the "organic types". Am I missing something here?


[[YAY THX~~]]

[intherigging]

[It took Jacky several long moments to respond.]

Yanno I've met people who've said that kind of backwards imbecilic rhetoric before and they were wrong then and you are wrong now.

[Not the most diplomatic response there, Jacky...]

Instead of whinging about how nothing is your job how about you buckle down and do the jobs assigned to you because a ship's a community and communities mean everyone has to pitch in even if the job's shite.

[Jacky that's even worse.]

text; (I DROPPED THE BALL I'M SORRY)

[peridork]

[If only she could convey exasperated sighing through text.]

Clearly, you are. I'm a Gem, not a human. I don't partake in your kind's ritual of consuming ridiculous amounts of matter for energy, and while I do commend you all for at least devoting a specific spot for the elimination of the resulting waste in order to efficiently contain your mess, I protest thoroughly against the idea of having to go anywhere near it. Does that make sense?

[peridork]

Backwards? If anyone on here is backwards it's you humans for not keeping yourself efficiently organized! Gems have order, gems have a system.

Oh, and I am pitching in, thank you very much, by doing what I'm best at and what I was made for. I'm the one that keeps those machines functioning, the ones that keep your sorry human lives from crumbling away when you get into trouble because you're incapable of regenerating your forms on your own! I'm the one that volunteers to fix the mechanics of this archaic rust bucket whenever possible because I'm one of the few people on this crew that knows how! So don't you LECTURE me about PITCHING IN.

text/video (ITS OK NO WORRIES c: )

[hellsbel]

[...being told there were intelligent nonhumans on board is one thing, but...????]

You are so close to making sense. [the bemused humor would probably come through more clearly in audio. as a matter of fact.....

after a couple moments, a vidcall comes through instead of another text. Bel's sharp, baffled face is framed with brown hair in an ambiguous cut, its clean lines giving no clue as to gender, but clearly suffused with curiosity.]

Even the Cetas have to feed like the rest of us, as gloriously posthuman as they think they want to be. A "gem" is a mineral formation, where I come from. A very pretty formation, mind you, but they don't talk, even on Eta Ceta. Are there many like you on board?

video;

[peridork]

[Peridot scowls as they talk, mouth scrunching up on itself in her displeasure until it's almost nothing on the landscape of her face. It's not really anger directed specifically at them; just a general weariness for having to explain this over and over to each new crew member that the Ingress spits out.] Just two of us; me and one other, if you really must know.

video;

[hellsbel]

[she looks like a vid cartoon. a vid cartoon that's alive. Bel isn't entirely sure she's not just a simulation.]

..Then I apologise on behalf of the rest of us organics for the trouble you're taking on our behalf. [mouth quirks up in a bemused smile.] Are there organics where you come from, or is this all as peculiar to you as it is to some of us?

[peridork]

Negative: There are no organics on Homeworld, or on any gem controlled colonies, for that matter.

[hellsbel]

None? Where did they go? [huh. the 'gems' must live very far away from Earth....] So you're an empire, then? We haven't come across any intelligent inorganics yet, anywhere the wormholes have led us.

[peridork]

Eh? [[Head tilt.]] What do you mean "where did they go"? There is no organic life on Homeworld, and never has been.

[[Don't even try and ask her about the gem origin of species, Bel. It's not a road you want to go down.]]

But to answer your second question, yes: The gem empire is vast and powerful. We control hundreds colonies throughout the galaxies!

[hellsbel]

Must be handy, not having to make habitats for all your squishy organic needs.

So if there were no organics around, why do you look like.... [sort of] people? Two eyes, a nose -- that is a nose, right? I mean, why stop there?

[peridork]

[She crosses her arms. Frowns at Bel askance.] I'm pretty sure the age of our race far exceeds that of humanity. So really, the question you should be asking is, why do humans look like gems? And I'm not really sure where you're implying that we should "go", or even what point you are suggesting that we have "stopped" at.

[hellsbel]

Because evolution has a really terrible sense of humor? [grins]

Beyond that sort of bipedal form, I mean. I'm a descendant of a genetic engineering experiment; this crew's full of people who would be even further outliers than me back where I come from. Can you customize yourselves?

[peridork]

Ah. Yes, we are capable of changing form at will. It’s not really very commonly utilized, though, on account of it being terribly inefficient. Far too much energy for far too little result.

[hellsbel]

That must be terribly convenient, though, if you ever really need it. [impressed, and a little envious; was only talking about gene-designing before birth. but genuine shapeshifting? cool.]