post antidote; text + video; displaying as being from "Jane"

[petridish]

Missed birthdays and alien poison [and training on a couple of days which were really a whole year but resulted in just Throw?!] aside...


[This is the video, just a few seconds of the crab centered in the frame, except without a person in the background, and on the beaches of this planet instead.]

Good names for a crab? I'm no good with names.

[Which is kind of how she ended up in this current round of identity theft, really. But at least this means she's made it over a year without more people figuring her out!]

Comments

TEXT

[squadgoals]

Crabby

text

[ryuuzaki]

Bertram.

[petridish]

A little too on the nose.

[petridish]

What kind of name is that?

[Literally. how do names]

[squadgoals]

Crabsley

This aside, I'm not sure pod crabs can learn their own names. Get him in the mail?

[ryuuzaki]

A British one. It's the first one I could think of.

[It so is not.]

You don't want to name your crab Bertram? What about Rupert or Clive?

Arthur?

[petridish]

But I'll know its name.

Yeah. I have no idea why, it's not like I had one at home.

[petridish]

I'm not even sure it's male. I'll have to see if there's anything in the library.

[ryuuzaki]

Any names, or any information on how to sex a crab?

You could try Nigel. I'm really not sure the crab will care.

Jemima or Sophie, if you think it might.

TEXT

[beautifulspaceraptor]

[ Whoa, hey, hahah, now's clearly the best time for bittersweet Virmire flashbacks, thanks Cloney. ]

Jiggles. Leggy. Wiggler.

text;

[kidjoy]

[For someone who still hasn't taken her own moniker, thinking up dumb names is her jam.]

Sugar Bullet. Pistol Pat. Scrap Sheep.

text;

[redshitlord]

crabbatron

[squadgoals]

I've noticed the mail doesn't exactly pull its punches. [LIKE THIS SHITTY VIRMIRE FLASHBACK

She's about to suggest "Kaidan" — that is, until she remembers he's actually on board.]

Pinchy?

[petridish]

Both. Crab might not care, but I'll know.

Sophie's kind of nice.

[petridish]

[you're welcome!]

Too explicitly descriptive.

[petridish]

How did you even come up with those? It doesn't look like a bullet, pistol, or sheep.

[she had to look up what a sheep was]

[petridish]

Does this look like a Cybertronian crab to you?

[look, she's seen a "Megatron" posting on the network mentioning the term]

[petridish]

I want a name, not a description.

[squadgoals]

OK, fine.

[Descriptive names are great! Who names their pets human names? That's ridiculous.

OK think about something other than Virmire.

This is much, much harder than it looks.]

John?

[petridish]

I still haven't figured out if it's male or female.

[redshitlord]

yes

totally

[Sideswipe u little shit]

[squadgoals]

Crabbers

Crabbikins

Crabert

Craberry

McCrabs

[kidjoy]

with my head duh. they dont gotta look like the thing to be named after it. it just has to sound cool

[petridish]

It's not getting a Cybertronian name.

[petridish]

Nothing with "crab".