[Video] (cw; robot drug use?)

[mttbrandlegs]

[Mettaton's been a little scarce on the network the past few months. It's reasonable, he's had a bit of a hard time! Still, as outgoing as he is, it's hardly surprising to see him address the ship as a whole.

Yet.. When his voice comes through the MID, it's uncharacteristically relaxed, almost dreamy.]

Hellooooo, beauties~! Goodness, have I told you all lately how wonderful you all are? I have the distinct feeling that I have not!!

I mean--that's not my jooob or anything, that's my boyfriend's job!! Ooh!! Guess what, everyone?! I am dating the handsomest Morale Officer on the ship!! That is Papyrus, if you are unaware of his good looks and stellar personality!! I am so proud I finally got a chance to let everyone know that I'm with him!! It was, after all, very important!! Anyway though;

Back to the main subject!

You're all wonderful, and I would love, love, love to express that to everyone! Every single one of you! Even the certain someone...who I can't seem to avoid having mild arguments with!! Haha!

Does anyone want a hug? I would adore a hug right now!

[...There will be regrets later. But Mettaton can't actually be blamed at this point, even if he sounds as if he's had some sort of mild psychotic break given his mercurial behavior lately.

Nah. He's just had some Cybertronian drugs.

Speaking of questionable decisions, though...]

By the way!! Want to know a secret?

[Mettaton pans out his MID a little, showing that he is in fact partially on the floor, with his legs apparently splayed up onto his bed. Certainly it appears undignified, but at least he seems comfortable, in that teenage gossip girl way.]

If you saw a small pink ghost last month...do I have a surprise for you!! That. Was. ME!!! Ooooh!!! What a scandal, right?! But you know what?! Toriel was right!! It is my business who I tell--and no secrets between friends!!

[Wink~]

Toodles, sweeties!!!



[Private text to Papyrus]

PAPYRUS!!!!1!!! SWEETIE CAN YOU VISIT ME, I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU! YOU'RE A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL SKELETON AND I NEED TO APPRECIATE YOU!!! SERIOUSLY! YOU'VE TREATED ME SO NICELY!! LET ME PAY IT BACK!!!!!

PLEASE~? <3333


[Private text to Asriel]

I BET YOUR EARS ARE SOFT, AREN'T THEY? CAN I TOUCH THEM? I PROMISE I WILL BE VERY GENTLE, HONEY!!! I'M JUST

CURIOUS :)

FUNNY WORD, CURIOUS! IF YOU TOOK THE U OUT! IT WOULD SOUND LIKE A CEREAL BRAND!! HAHA, THAT WOULD SELL!! MTT-BRAND CURIOS!!!


[Private text to Kyoko]

KYOKO. SWEETIE. WHY DON'T WE EVER TALK ANYMORE????? :(((( I MEAN IT IS LIKE WE DON'T DISCUSS ANYTHING UNLESS IT'S SAD AND THAT IN AND OF ITSELF IS SAD!!!!

WE SHOULD HUG. FRIENDS HUG!!!


[Private text to Alphys]

ALPHYYYYYYYS!!!!!!!!! YOU! NEVER! TOLD ME IF YOU LIKED THE FIGURE!!!! DID YOU NOT LIKE IT???? D: IT'S TOO LATE TO GO BACK TO THE FUN PLANETS ISN'T IT?? ALSO I MISS YOU!! COME VISIT ME!! <333 #BESTFRIEND #HUGS4ALPHYSBECAUSEISAIDSO(


[Private text to Tailgate]

WOW?? CAN I KEEP THIS?! WHERE DID YOU ACQUIRE IT AND WHERE HAS IT BEEN ALL OF MY LIFE?

YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND!!


[Private text to Ginko]

I JUST REMEMBERED FALLING ONTO YOUR HEAD AND THAT WAS ACTUALLY VERY FUNNY IN RETROSPECT!??! BUT ALSO I FEEL THE DISTINCT NEED TO APOLOGIZE AGAIN SO I'M SORRY!!! ABOUT YOUR HEAD!

STILL FUNNY HOWEVER!

Comments

private text.

[prayed]

[There are so many things wrong with his text that Kyoko doesn't even know where to start.]

We were never talking to start with!

[Though there's no denying that she's made more of an active effort to avoid him since his death. How could she approach him after that? No matter how many times she thought about it, had seem around, she could never seem to find the right time, the right words.

Certainly, none of this is right. It's frustrating. She wants to smack him for his texts as much as the mockery it makes of her efforts. Another text comes, shortly after the first, just to make sure this stays text:]

I don't hug, and I'm allergic to friendship. It leads to side effects, like me punching people. The last person who tried it got their nose broken.

[mttbrandlegs]

WELL THAT'S WHAT I MEAN THOUGH. WE DON'T EVER SEEM TO TALK UNLESS SOMETHING'S GONE AWRY!!!!

AND I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT!!

[...is his response to the first text. Mettaton had absolutely no chill right now, so he didn't expect the second text. It came too slow for him to realize. And...his response is almost immediate.]

YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO TRY THAT WITH ME, HONEYLEMON!! I'M A ROBOT, YOU MIGHT HURT YOURSELF! :( I'M ALRIGHT WITH VIOLENCE IF THAT'S YOUR WAY OF SHOWING FRIENDSHIP THOUGH!?

[Yeah. He missed the point.]

[prayed]

I've punched through things harder than you! It's not a way of showing friendship! I don't have any friends, so I don't need to show friendship!

Seriously! Is this some kind of joke?! Are you trying to mess with me?

[BECAUSE IT'S WORKING.]

[mttbrandlegs]

UH, NO?? I AM BEING ABSOLUTELY HONEST!!!

WHY DON'T YOU WANT ANY FRIENDS?? WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET THAT I VALUE YOU?! IS IT SUCH A BIG DEAL? I MEAN IT WAS REALLY NICE OF YOU TO STAY WITH ME WHEN I NEEDED SOMEONE!!!

[Not going to use the word died or any of its other synonyms.]

P.S. I STILL WOULDN'T PUNCH ME.

[prayed]

It's weird!! Friends are people that you hang out with, you know, not somebody who just conveniently pops up every time you've got a problem! Really, I wish we could stop running into each other 'cause it seems to mean that something's gone wrong.

Noted. I'm still doing it.

[And one more text, a moment later, because now that she thinks about it--]

What the Hell. What did you do now?

[mttbrandlegs]

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! I'M JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME!!

[And honestly he feels so attacked right now.]

NO REALLY. I PROMISE!! NO MALFUNCTIONS!

WELL. MAYBE MY ARM BUT THAT'S BEEN BROKEN FOR A WHILE!!! I'LL HAVE ALPHYS FIX IT LATER!!

OTHERWISE I'M FINE!!! EVERYTHING IS GREAT!!! AND SERIOUSLY WOULD YOU JUST QUIT BEING CAUGHT UP ON THE DETAILS AND WE CAN ACTUALLY TRY BEING FRIENDS?!

[...He's so high, Kyoko. You don't even know.]

[prayed]

I don't believe you. What did you do before you sent this text? And that... Video...

Don't lie. Girls hate guys who keep secrets like that from them, y'know. That's not the kind of person you want to be friends or anything else with. So, what'd you do to end up in such a good mood?

[Not featured here is the internal dilemma over the word friend, nor the agonizing pauses and disgusted face that she made while typing it out. She really doesn't want to go along with this, it's super and embarrassing and she should just go find him and punch him, but she doesn't think he'd answer her then and now she needs to know and she doesn't know where he is anyway.

Ugh.

At least it's private. And at least later she can clarify that good actually means like a cat that's been rolling around in a field of catnip before being released into a house full of delicate objects, white satin curtains and silk furniture.]

[mttbrandlegs]

[Oh hell. Mettaton's not following the rules?! But he wants Kyoko to be friends with him!!

Time to own up. After all, it wasn't as if he was trying to lie about it.]

I'M SORRY, I WASN'T TRYING TO HIDE ANYTHING. :(

I WAS HOLDING A MIND-ALTERING SUBSTANCE FOR A FRIEND, AND HE ASSURED ME THAT THE EFFECTS WOULD NOT BE DEBILITATING!! ONLY PLEASANT!! I HAVE NEVER DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS - THERE ARE NOT MANY THINGS THAT AFFECT ME, SINCE I'M A ROBOT!!!

I WANTED TO TRY IT!

[He is absolutely not sorry, either. He needed this. Really...]

[prayed]

[M E T T A T O N . . .]

WHAT????

Didn't anybody ever tell you that drugs and alcohol and stuff like that are all bad!? You do stupid things that you'll regret in the morning, y'know! And doing stupid things is already normal for you! You can't afford to get any dumber!

[mttbrandlegs]

WELL WELL WELLY WELL WELL.

I GUESS I CAN'T ARGUE, I'VE DONE PLENTY OF STUPID THINGS LATELY, BUT HEY!! AT LEAST THIS TIME I'M HAVING FUN!! IF THAT BOTHERS YOU, I'M REALLY SORRY, SWEETIE!!! I'LL BE MORE THOUGHTFUL IN THE FUTURE!!!

[He actually means the apology...? And he's not taking offense to her calling him dumb...yet.]

BESIDES, I DON'T CONSIDER MESSAGING PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT AS STUPID! :(

[prayed]

As long as you don't do it again, I guess I can forgive you. Just this once, though.

It is. You're definitely going to say something you regret.

[mttbrandlegs]

[Well he won't tell her if he does it again, that's for sure. Gosh, Kyoko. Stop harshing his high. He's only done this once.]

I WOULD PREFER TO KEEP A POSITIVE MINDSET!!! THEREFORE I WILL TRY VERY HARD NOT TO SAY SOMETHING WORTH REGRETTING!! :)

TO THAT END, THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN!! YOU'RE REALLY QUITE A GOOD PERSON!! VERY THOUGHTFUL!!!

[prayed]

I'm just tired of getting stuck dealing with your problems. I'm not a good person at all.

I've seriously hurt people, you know. Some of them have even died because of me.

[mttbrandlegs]

WELL DON'T BE SO DOWN ON YOURSELF!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE I KILLED LAST MONTH??? IT IS NOT A PRETTY NUMBER!!!! SO IN THAT WAY, WE ARE SOMEWHAT ALIKE!

[His euphoria seems impenetrable, but actually, Mettaton's a bit nervous to be on that subject. Directly after he sent that, he regretted bringing it up. So much for that brain to mouth filter...]

ANYWAY DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY PROBLEMS!!! I CAN HANDLE THEM!!

[Yes. Hence the use of drugs, right?]

[prayed]

Heh. I guess we are. Is that really something you should be admitting to?

Well, don't come crying to me when something goes wrong!

[ugh now that she's said it he's definitely going to wind up doing it, isn't he??]

1/3

[mttbrandlegs]

YES?! I WOULDN'T WANT TO HIDE IT, THAT WOULD BE DISHONEST!! I AM NOT PROUD OF IT THOUGH, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU'RE WONDERING.

2/3

[mttbrandlegs]

IT'S ACTUALLY VERY UPSETTING WHY DID I BRING IT UP

3/3 what a trainwreck

[mttbrandlegs]

SUBJECT CHANGE!!!!!

HOW'S THAT SPACE?

[Subtle. Will she even respond to that?]

oh my god

[prayed]

I TOLD YOU YOU WERE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING THAT YOU'D REGRET!!!

i am so sorry

[mttbrandlegs]

IN MY DEFENSE

IT WASN'T SOMETHING EGREGIOUS!!

THE KILLING HAPPENED FOR GOOD REASONS, OR WAS SOMETHING I WAS FORCED INTO!! I WOULDN'T JUST KILL SOMEONE BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT!! I'VE MADE THAT MISTAKE BEFORE--NO ONE DIED, BUT THEY COULD HAVE!!

I DON'T WANT TO EVER DO THAT AGAIN

I NEVER WANT TO KILL ANOTHER PERSON EITHER!!!!!!

IT'S JUST. WHAT I AM GOOD AT I GUESS?

[Man, couldn't even keep to his own subject changes. Yikes.]

mtt why

[prayed]

Dunno. You seem pretty bad at it to me. Must've been a fluke before.

Besides, it's not like any of us were given a choice. "Kill or be killed," eh?

mtt is bad decision robot

[mttbrandlegs]

NOW HONEY. THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE.

WHEN YOU FOUND ME LAST, I WAS LIKE THAT BECAUSE I KILLED TENS OF THOSE AWFUL ALIENS!! I AM NOT BAD AT KILLING!

I JUST WISH I WAS. :(

ALSO??? THE WHOLE KILL OR BE KILLED EDICT IS BULLSHIT!!!

[MTT doesn't often curse like that. But uh. He's serious.]