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[sonywalkman]

Look, this "You killed my father, prepare to die" routine is all well and good (and yawn worthy), but I have an idea.

[In the back of his mind, he's thinking of Rocket telling him this is absolutely stupid, but then, so is this whole scenario. Dumb raccoon, being probably right. The inner-conflict registers on his face, but he doesn't remark on any of it. The "probably right" doesn't matter. Not in the face of (maybe) living.]

I don't know what happened, I don't even really care what happened. But I sure like living, so just...hear me out. We challenge them.

[He shakes his head, and his other hand at the MID.] Not like how you're thinking though. As a distraction. Seriously, two words, and just think about it alright?

Dance off.

[Yes, he does, in fact, look entirely serious about this.]

Comments

[bosswald]

[Oh my god he's serious.

He's really, actually serious. She stares. And then stares some more.]

I'm not sure they're the dancing sort of invaders.

[sonywalkman]

They don't have to, that's the beauty of it. That face is exactly what I want.

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[redshitlord]

I'm in.

[WELL NOW THERE'S TWO SERIOUS IDIOTS.]

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[sonywalkman]

...Wait, really?

[Sideswipe, he didn't expect anyone to say yes.]

Uh...how does dancing work when you're a giant robot?

[The most important part, really.]

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[sketchycharacter]

Jesus Christ, I can't believe you suggested that.

[Nate shakes his head. He's not mad, he's disappointed.]

Come on. You've got to make sure we have some good dancers first.

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[sonywalkman]

Rude. If it saved my galaxy, it's good enough now.

[Not that he's going to admit that his dancing is...comical (to put it nicely), wouldn't bad dancing just distract better?]

I mean, if you want to go now, man, we can totally do that.

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[otiosity]

So do we have to quickly and desperately coordinate a choreographed group number that will wow everyone to the point where they drop their weapons and applaud our incredible skills?

[Honestly, she should have tried this idea against the Arishok. He probably would have just given up on the spot.]

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[sonywalkman]

No, you just distract them while someone else sneaks around and beats the shit out of them. Or shoots them, or blows their ship up. Whatever works. That team isn't my gig.

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[cockade]

Dancing? [The most incredulous sounding Frenchmen goes here.] Really? Should we wear capes and gowns and masks while we're at it?

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[sonywalkman]

Sure, if you think the David Bowie routine will help.

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[tearsinajar]

Okay, but— hear me out— to what music? Now say we do challenge them to a dance off, what if they have music that outmatches ours?

We're kind of screwed then.

[ Elena cannot believe this man looks so serious. ]

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[sonywalkman]

[Behold, Elena, his most prized possession. An ancient cassette tapedeck. He looks awfully smug waving it around; he's not backing down on this one.]

Nothing outmatches this. Trust me.

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[springlocking]

[This guy's gotta be kidding.

...

He's not kidding, is he?]

Why...how is that a good idea?

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[sonywalkman]

How isn't it a good idea? We have fun, they're taken out of commission, everyone's happy.

[Maybe not everyone lives in this scenario, but as far as he's concerned, it's not the crew here that's going to see that happen.]

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[arcreact]

[ You KNOW WHAT. ]

Best idea I've heard from anyone all day.

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[sonywalkman]

Well duh. [Who wants to listen to boring politics and ethics debates when they could just end this, right?]

You don't kick Thanos' stupid...okay, his ass by proxy or whatever, just sitting around and talking about it.

[prorenataa]

That fact that I am forced to admit that this is not the worst reaction, to a potential hostile situation, that I've ever heard? Disturbs me.

[ It really, really does. ]

So how would this work? They choose the music, we choose the style? Or visa versa?

[sonywalkman]

We choose both, and they lose. It's a win-win, right?

[Wait.]

For us.

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[desperate_times]

Oh, I don't know. I mean, it would have to be a hell of a dance number.

[Full orchestra and everything.]

But maybe you could pull it off.

[She twirls a finger.]

Go on, let's see what you've got.

[Shake dat ass Peter Quill.]

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[sonywalkman]

[He's done worse with less.]

Maybe. [He gives the most childish scoff. "Maybe." Please.] I can't film myself when this thing is stuck to my wrist!

[warandpeace]

Well, if you need anyone to play music or write a song for it, I've got your back.

[Blandly. Because he's pretty sure that's the only possible way for someone like him to contribute to peace. Most of what he does is train people how to war.]

[sonywalkman]

Wait, hold up. Play music? Like what? ...You don't mean boring classical stuff, right?

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[pushed]

You haven't seen my moves. Come on, let's at least give them a fighting chance.

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[sonywalkman]

...They're threatening to kill us, and you want to give them a "fighting chance"? [No, he's not just slightly overwhelmed when he has to actually stop to think about this. He doesn't want to stop and actually think about this. So:] What kind of moves?

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[knaval]

Don't dance parties usually come after surviving an invasion?

[that's how it usually goes...]

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[sonywalkman]

No, no, no. [He shakes his head, still serious about this.] The dance-off distracts. Not a dance party, those are totally different things.

Though both sometimes involve alcohol.

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[gladiumetscutum]

While I'm all for a peaceful resolution, I don't believe winning or losing a dance off will placate them.

[ There's some amusement in her tone, even if she's unsure if he's really serious or faking serious for the sake of humour. Either way, it's humorous, although one is also somewhat more concerning than the other.

This really isn't a legitimate strategy, sorry Peter. ]

They're seeking equality. Revenge. A dance off doesn't hold much weight in that.

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[sonywalkman]

[This? This is a childish rolling of his eyes and an unmistakable scoff.]

It's not about winning. [Because he would.] It's about catching them off guard. No one ever expects it! Trust me, it works.

[voice]

[ryuuzaki]

Are you serious?

[This may be a common response -- it should be, as far as L is concerned -- but he still feels compelled to add his own incredulity. He sounds weary on top of it.]

[audio]

[sonywalkman]

[Peter places his headphones near the MID, distantly playing this, but muffled.]

Was Michael Jackson serious about the moonwalk? If you say no, you didn't deserve the moonwalk.

[ersatzeverything]

Fuck yeah!

[Okay, it may not be a practical plan. Or a workable plan. But Deacon hates the idea of killing a bunch of people who have a totally legitimate reason to be kind of pissed off at them. If someone can convince the aliens that a dance-off would restore the karmic balance they're so set on, he's all for it. Or if it could be turned into a successful distraction with the aliens staring at them in bewilderment for even suggesting it, meanwhile a group of Moirans do something more productive towards their survival, that's good too.]

[sonywalkman]

You. You I like.

[Nice, sweet, simple, and worst of all, encouraging.]

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[goodluckkobra]

Just wonderin' but has this ever actually worked for you?

[ Because Kobra wouldn't mind solving some problems musically, but he's pretty sure it leaves an obvious opening for the opponent. ]

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[sonywalkman]

100% success rate!

[The idea is to give themselves an opening, all things told.]

I don't mean it in like some weird Grease context, music solving the world and getting the girl. I mean, getting the girl...uh, not that there is one, is great and I'm not complaining, but I don't mean this should be the only plan. Just, you know, part of it.

[Like 12% of it.]

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[dislocked]

[ wat. ]

And you think this will work?

[sonywalkman]

Uh, I said it, didn't I?

[That's not always a clear indicate; Peter says a lot of things he doesn't quite mean, or intend. But despite having perpetual foot-in-mouth disease, he's pretty convinced of this.]

[heartscold]

[He's actually amused by this suggestion, and it's not as asinine as some he's seen so far.]

So, I take it you're volunteering to do the... distracting while the rest of us do the fighting?