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metal gear: solid snake

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[riptide is pale. very pale. his optics are wide and the usual deep yellow glow of them is so intense it's almost white.

his grin is uneasy and forced.]

Hi! Just a quick note - who deals with the Ingress junk mail? Can I ask you not to leave body-- [he stops, inhales.] --just be more careful where you leave stuff, yeah? And, uh. Personal request. If anything comes through for me, space it. I don-- I don't want it. Ever.

[he looks about ready to shut off the video but stops.]

...Rodimus, don't look in the blue crate in the cargo bay. Just leave it.

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[ Okay. Literally just told the guy with impulse control issues not to touch something. ]

What's in the box.

That was meant to be locked from everyone.

[JUST SAYIN]

That doesn't say what's in the box.

[and another helpful beat.]

You look terrible. Who spiked your Energon.

No, but it should give you a hint that it's not really...

[ugh, whatever.]

No-one, I'm fine. Is there spiked energon around? I don't remember getting enough high grade. We should go get more high grade.

We always need more high grade. You look like you need it more than I do and that's saying something.

[Pause. Then.]

Riptide.

Riptide.

Riiiptide.

Come on.

What's in the box.

What is it. What's in the box.

What's in the box, Riptide.

Sideswipe has been my roommate for almost half a year, Whirl. You'll need to try harder than that--

Actually, don't. Please don't.

[ As if offended. ]

I am much more annoying! I can literally do this all day.

[And with that he continues.]

Come on.

Riptide.

You know you should tell me. If you don't tell me I am just going to keep talking.

Riptide.

Riptide what's in the box. Come on Riptide. Tell ol' Whirlybird. Come on.

What's in the box!

[he crosses his arms, huffing.]

You're not even 1% right now. What's to stop me just blocking your MID signal then going somewhere you'd never find me?

Playing hard to get on a very small ship is not the way to get me to stop.

Come on.

Riptide.

Really.

I'll stop if you tell me.

I know where you sleep.

Come on.

Tell meeeee.

Tell me. Tellmetellmetellme.

Really? That's the best the great Whirl can do?

[he leans back, tapping his chin.]

Mmm... you're at about 0.1%.

[ Whirl's optic narrows, and he points with one of his claws. ]

I will find you and when I do consider yourself heavily annoyed.

But first. To the cargo bay.

[AKA WHIRL IS GOING TO GO FIND THIS HIMSELF IF YOU AREN'T GONNA TELL HIM.]

[riptide is already in the cargo bay, sitting next to the box. upon whirl's declaration of his intentions, he slides it under a tarp carefully.]

Sure, Whirl.

[ Whirl's optic arcs, and the video goes out.

It's pretty obvious what's happening when not too much later you can probably hear him making a very odd sort of metallic whistling sound as he shows up to go scour the cargo bay. He already has been down here a few times so he's not completely clueless, but when he notices Riptide he makes a very irritated clicking noise with his vocalizer before just clicking his claws at him. ]

I know it's here somewhere.

[Clack clack goes the claws, and Whirl's voice is somehow more irritating in person.]

....JUST tell me. What, did you get a box of scraplets, pile of t-cogs, nightmare fuel.

A squished organic you wanted to forget you stepped on. What?

None of those. Keep guessing.

[he tries to keep a straight face every time whirl gets close to the tarp.]

[And Whirl comes ever closer.]

Did you get guns. If you got guns and you're not sharing I am going to be so mad.

Especially if they're guns from Brainstorm.

[There's a tarp. Whirl's optic darts to the tarp.]

It's under there, isn't it.

Books, Whirl. It was horrible boring books, which is why I was so horrified. I wanted to spare you the gory details, but it's a series of books on accounting and programming.

[he winces. sorry teebs.]

Uh huh.

[Whirl stops, stares at Riptide for a moment, and then does the thing that is often in the nightmares of people dealing with Whirl, basically half drop tackles both Riptide and the tarp in order to get at it because come on, if he's being that cagey it's got to be good.]

WHIRL--

[SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!! riptide tumbles backwards from the force of whirl's tackle, out of reach of the tarp.]

WHIRL, SERIOUSLY!

[ Yes, Whirl, seriously. Come on, what do you expect of him, Riptide.

Now with all this flailing, Whirl does manage to get his claws on the crate, flinging the part of the tarp at Riptide that's been covering it to keep him distracted while basically continuing to use part of the boat as a chair. He's making a ridiculous cackling sound that is probably intended to just annoy the scrap out of Riptide just because when he finally gets the lid off-

And Whirl completely freezes.

He makes a sound that's probably more akin to something being shoved through a garbage disposal than actual attempts at speech, and then after a moment he tilts his head.]

....He's making his forcefield face.

What did I say, Whirl! What did I say?! God, it's--

[he makes an odd half laugh-half choked sob at whirl's comment.]

What do we do? What the hell do we do with this? I'm not just-- spacing him. I can't, that's not right.

[ Whirl has both claws in the box because he put them in before he'd known what was there and thought his action through and now he's stuck with it and now there is Trailcutter's fragging head and he's practically got it in his claws and the moment he's thought about it he realizes that thinking about it was as good as doing it because now he's holding the dang thing and Whirl's pretty sure he's been making some kind of vague sound with his vocalizer but it's mostly just clicks and so he resets it. ]

But we already had a funeral, what are we supposed to do with just the fragging head.

[He vaguely gestures, then seems to remember what he's holding, makes that weird grinding noise again and looks around like he's trying to figure out where to put it and hasn't figured out that he can just set it back down.]

If his heads here can't we put him in the thingy that makes everybody stop being dead?! Isn't that the point of that thing?

[Whirl doesn't really understand how that works, he's honestly just babbling at this point.]

Oh my god put it-- him! Down! Whirl!

[riptide slaps at whirl's claws, then stops because a) would touching them be grounds for a stabbing and b) he doesn't want to damage the head more than it is.]

I don't-- why are you asking me?! I just opened the friggin' box thinking it was going to be movies or something fun and it's his GOD DAMN HEAD!

[Whirl lets go of the head when he's slapped but quickly catches it again so it wont go crashing to the ground because Whirl is a lot of things but he's not exactly planning on playing 'pick up parts of teebs'. In any other case? Riptide probably would've been smacked right back but there's sort of a more pressing issue distracting Whirl from the need to punch the boat in his face.]

YOU HAVE BEEN HERE LONGER THAN ME. You would know better!

[Whirl's vocalizer still sounds like there's a horrible grinding quality to it, and his optic is narrowed as his entire head whips to make eye contact with Riptide and stare him down, probably clacking into him with the front of his helm in an attempt to make him back down, claws turned in their sockets to hold the head between his rotors without making it worse.

Whirl looks back down at the head, and then after a moment seems to arc his wrists in strange motions in an attempt to figure out how to set it down without crumpling some part in or damaging it worse, and clearly getting frustrated in the process.]

[riptide can stand up for himself, most of the time. being so close to a very agitated whirl who is having trouble with his hands and holding the severed head of a mutual friend, however, is not one of those times.

he yelps and recoils, watching whirl carefully.]

Just-- [riptide twists around uncomfortably from under whirl, grabbing the tarp. he holds it out like a trampoline.] Put him on here. I guess.

[that seems easier than whatever whirl is trying to do.]

[ Whirl's optic narrows and he bristles, plating flaring and basically looking like a particularly irritated bird. However, Whirl has figured out that he is getting absolutely nowhere and is now getting particularly unhappy with the fact. ]

I've GOT it.

[ Whirl looks down at Teeb's head and if he wasn't positive that Trailcutter was not in there anymore he'd be sure it was telling him that he doesn't have it.

Whirl makes that really odd sound again that's probably not great for his vocalizer in the first place, and he unhooks his claws from where they were wrapped around the head because he's not really got a better answer and Riptide's already there and he would like to stop touching it because Teebs is staring at him and the last time he thought about that too hard that was about the point that he'd hung out with sweeps and he doesn't want to have that kind of conversation with Trailbreaker..

Cutter.

Did that matter.

Did-

Once Whirl's dropped the head off into the Tarp he sort of just continues sitting there, looking at his claws where it was while his brain module runs in circles.]

Edited 2016-06-20 22:06 (UTC)

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knaval - 2016-06-20 22:17 (UTC) - Expand

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