thisavrou | video | 20% sarcasm

[Tailgate tries, very awkwardly, to raise his MID over his shoulder so the viewers can see the banner behind him. It is a spiritually beautiful thing, and Tailgate appears to be very proud of it. He allows the viewers to admire it for a few seconds more before lowering his device and making his announcement proudly.]

This banner belongs to the Lost Light, which is the ship most of us come from. Whenever we actually achieve something for the quest we're supposed to be doing, we celebrate with an appropriate banner! As you can probably see, this banner is in good condition. We're not very good at keeping on track, so we haven't used it very often. But hey, being sidetracked is a part of life and I'm sure whatever we're supposed to be looking for is overrated anyway. I mean, who really needs knights? Knights are silly.

Anyway! Since I like sharing, I'm more than willing to lend out this extremely important item to anyone who needs it to celebrate their undoubtedly numerous accomplishments on the Moira. Whether you actually feel like celebrating or if you feel like being a sarcastic jerk, this banner is right for you!

Anyone who wants to borrow it just needs to-

[There's a loud FWUMP behind him and Tailgate lets out a yelp as the banner suddenly falls from the wall.]

UGH! It took me forever to get this thing up, I should have asked Riptide... [Grumble grumble.]

[Forgetting that his MID is still streaming, Tailgate works on getting the banner upright again. During which time the viewers at home get a lovely view of another banner lying on the floor. Why Tailgate has this one is anyone's guess, but to interested viewers it reads, quite clearly: FUCK OFF MEGATRON in the largest font Swerve could have managed.]

Oh, is this thing still running? I'll just-

[/end feed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You want help getting both up?

[he's honestly impressed these, of all things, showed up.]

I feel like we need a Tarn version of that other one.

I think the whole point to Tarn is not to make him angry.

We may do dumb things, but that's going two steps too far.

Besides, it's mean.

...Yeah, I know but it would still be satisfying to tell him to fuck off. Though I guess it wouldn't be satisfying for everyone to be murdered.

[LAME.]

I'm pretty sure Tarn being a friggin' murderous sociopath kind of cancels out anything mean someone might do to him.

I guess you can hang it outside his room and run off. Surely that's not a reason for murder?

[He wonders why they're having a conversation about pranking a murderous psychopath, but there you go.]

[YOLO IS WHY]

I feel like there's a very low number of people on the ship he would figure did it, and that number is essentially me, you and maybe Sideswipe.

...

What if we hang it up low enough for him to trip... and fall... into the engines... ah. Wishful thinking.

Aw, but we need the engines. Just trip him out an airlock and let space do the rest.

[And, maybe, gently trip Megatron out after him. Friend or not, Tailgate still thinks that an airlock solution is a good one.]

Is there one big enough? Also, I'm a little uncomfortable discussing this on an open channel. Or... at all.

[that last part was fake. he does like to discuss it.]

Oh c'mon, it's not like we're serious.

[At least he doesn't think they're serious.]

Well, no, but Tarn's already-- I feel like he's got a light trigger, y'know?

[and has it out for riptide, he feels.]

He didn't seem very triggery to me when I talked to him.

Frankly, I don't know why he didn't just squish me right away if he's as mean as everyone says.

[SPUTTERS]

W-- you met him? And he didn't do anything?! What the hell!

Yeah, I gave him flowers and offered to show him around.

Which I take it is a different experience from yours.

He--

Where did you get flowers?

There's a garden! I think you'll fit inside if you believe in yourself, so you should check it out sometime.

I was going to give them to Cyclonus, but I felt like welcoming this strange newcomer.

Aw. You should definitely get some more flowers for Cyclonus. He deserves them far more than Tarn.

[not something he ever thought he'd say but hey.]

... I don't know what that second one means, but I already think I like it.

Swerve made this!

[Tailgate says brightly, picking up the banner and showing it to him.]

Megatron isn't too popular on our ship for, ah, obvious reasons. I don't think this is the worst thing I've seen either. You should see the graffiti in the washracks, they're downright vulgar.

[He holds up a finger.]

I also don't know who that is.

But, yeah, I... don't blame him for not being popular. At all. But now I totally wanna see.

I keep it in my room, so you can come and look at it at any time.

[Just don't mind the occasional Cyclonus.]

Swerve is a friend of mine back home. He's the bartender, and that gives him plenty of opportunity to be both the funniest person on the ship, and the most sarcastic. I think you'd like him.

Man, half the people you know are so cool. That's not fair!

[And then the other half is Megatron and Grape Drift.]

Think he'll show up here?

Remind me to borrow that other one the next time he sends me some kind of message ordering me around.

[She doesn't know what "fuck" actually means by itself, but the meaning of "fuck off" as a phrase is something that she's picked up just by being on the ship for as long as she has.]

[Tailgate knows it's a swear word and that's good enough for him. Besides, it's very tame compared to the ones Ratchet taught him once.]

Personally I think it'd be hard to boss someone around when there's a big ol' banner hanging over your head telling you to fuck right off. It won't deter him though, he's way too tough for that.

[Dammit. She knows he's right. Her face falls a bit.]

Whatever. As long as he gets a taste of my displeasure that should be enough, I guess.

What'd he even do to tick you off?

[Considering both Megatron and Peridot, Tailgate doesn't think it's much.]

TCH. More like what didn't he do? He's constantly ordering me around like he thinks he's in charge of me somehow, and he's stubborn and lets his emotions get in the way of perfectly logical suggestions!

video | 20% sarcasm

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