thisavrou | text; jan 2

[It’s one of those nights. Zam tosses and turns, shifts between forms around half a dozen times, and even tries to meditate the way they’d learned with the Mabari. Nothing helps. Their mind keeps churning with thoughts and questions, completely obliterating any chance of sleep. Eventually, they sit up with a frustrated sigh and activate their MID. They don’t know if anyone will be up to respond, but maybe getting their thoughts out will help nonetheless. At least they’re sober enough this time to keep their late night ramblings confined to text, rather than waking everyone up with a video message.]

I’ve been thinking

I know most of the people on this ship aren’t dead. Or at least they don’t remember dying. But I am. Dead, I mean. And it wasn’t one of those deaths where there’s room for ambiguity.

Which is why when I first got here, I thought it was some kind of afterlife. And in some ways, it still seems like that. But let’s say it isn’t. Let’s say it’s a real, physical ship and that the captains are really going to try and get us all home.

What’s going to happen to me? [Even just typing the question fills Zam with a cold sense of dread.] I died. If the ship actually manages to get me back to my galaxy or universe or whatever it is, am I just going to die again? And if I don’t, what about the me that’s dead in an alley somewhere? Will they still be there? Or will it be like all of that never happened and I’m the only one who remembers it?

Or what if I can’t go back and I just have to stay on the Moira forever? Is that why the captains chose me? Because I can’t go back?

I don’t know if anyone on this ship has the answers. Maybe not even the captains know for sure. But so many people want to go home. And I don’t even know if I have anything to go home to.

{OOC: The post will still be up in the morning for anyone who was asleep when it was originally posted.}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Bel is still awake -- the day's been chaotic.]

If it helps, they brought people back after Caducius Primary with... no room for ambiguity there either.

It's been a while since five-dimensional physics, but you're you now, right? If your body is still there, whatever atoms it's made of aren't the ones you live in now. So at least some kind of annihilation paradox is out of the picture.

Does that mean that I never died? Or that I did die and the person I think I am now is just a copy?

With time travel involved in the kidnappings? Hell if I know.

It'd be... a hell of a better copy than anyone's capable of where I come from, though. Even on Jackson's Whole, they'd at least have to keep your brain alive to transfer it, or the whole thing's useless.

Yeah, well, it wouldn’t be the first thing in this place to not make sense. [Which is another contributing factor to Zam’s theory that this is the afterlife; the living world had never been this nonsensical.]

The thing is, even if I get back home and don’t keel over dead the second I step off the ship, I

Well, I’d need to know what happened. Whether I really died, or if the Ingress changed things so that I didn’t. I mean, there was someone else there when I died and I need to know what he remembers, since

Stars, why am I even talking about this

text; jan 2

text; private

text; private

text; private

text; private